緊張興奮中，因為明天我會再次去為期四天三夜的內觀靜修營，下星期四我更會首次獨個兒去東京和到近郊滑雪！雖然我還沒有收拾行李，而今晚也不知道什麼時間才可以回家......
2015年1月28日星期三
2015年1月27日星期二
其實我一直知道我跟家人有著不同的價值觀，而我開始接受，無論如何努力，他們也不能理解亦不會認同我這種愚蠢的不切實際的處世之道。然而，那也是沒法子的事。我還是要過我自己的生活。
Serina 那天問我，最欣賞或羨慕身邊哪些朋友，為什麼。我想了想，發現原來我最欣賞的幾位好友，都是那些敢於追求自己理想，面對誘惑、挑戰甚至嘲笑，仍然忠於自己的儍子。Serina 又問我喜歡哪位歌手，我說我超喜歡 Amy Winehouse, 可惜她死得早。我說我喜歡她的糜爛和她面對自己的軟弱和黑暗的那份幾近裸露的坦白。Serina 說其實我為著忠於自己已經踏出了一大步，我現在需要的，只是多一點勇氣、堅持和幽默，對別人（包括家人）的眼光少一點在意。
我提醒自己，對，活在當下。沒有什麼是過不去的。
2015年1月19日星期一
Serina 問我遇上前度有甚麼不妥。我說我非常清楚自己不要和他再在一起，只是當我看見他的時候，我的心還是會揪一揪，好像重溫了當時的委屈，也同時為當時的自己感到難過，又會為感情脆弱的本質而覺得可惜。她說，其實很多人都是這樣，理智上知道要放下，潛意識卻耿耿於懷。但這一次，在 Serina 的幫助下，我相信，我自由了。
然後，昨天機緣巧合地上了
pranayama 瑜珈課，亦是我第一次接觸這種冥想法，結果岀乎意料。短短一小時的課，我竟然不斷痛哭流涕。反反覆覆。不能自控。腹中有股悲傷一直洶湧翻騰，想要找個出口。腦海中盡是某個已經忘記的畫面。奇怪的是，涙流滿臉的同時，我感到有另一個自己，正平靜理智地觀察著，她彷彿知道說，哭過了就好。
2015年1月17日星期六
I met Serina for another session today. She helped me to bury my past relationship which is essential for me to move on. We talked about what love and marriage meant to me. After some discussion I confirmed that I have always been looking for someone who connects with me, whose value aligns with mine, who respects and appreciates me as I am and whom I can grow in a positive way together with, and vice versa. Fortune, fame, physique, age, ethnicity etc don't really matter. No they don't. Serina also let me know I can be relaxed and patient while I am still waitng for Mr. Right. She reminded me how enjoyable my current life is.
Indeed I feel very lucky to be able to live the way I do now. Such freedom is priceless. And I shall never forget that.
Indeed I feel very lucky to be able to live the way I do now. Such freedom is priceless. And I shall never forget that.
2015年1月16日星期五
Work out
"When we talk about physical health, we know we have to work out our body. But we have almost never thought that working out our mind and heart is also essential to our mental and psychological health. And that is exactly what meditation is about. Stretch your mind. Strengthen your heart. Loosen up your soul. The goal is long-term stability, peace and immunity to adverse external environments. An athlete's bones don't break that easily when they fall. Similarly, a yogi's heart does not break that easily when he fails. The key is to practice. Work out. Persistently. Diligently. Persistently. Diligently."
2015年1月15日星期四
2015年1月14日星期三
2015年1月13日星期二
2015年1月10日星期六
To yoga is to...
In Vedic Sanskrit, the more commonly used, literal meaning of the Sanskrit word yoga which is "to add", "to join", "to unite", or "to attach" from the root yuj, already had a much more figurative sense, where the yoking or harnessing of oxen or horses takes on broader meanings such as "employment, use, application, performance" (compare the figurative uses of "to harness" as in "to put something to some use"). All further developments of the sense of this word are post-Vedic. More prosaic moods such as "exertion", "endeavour", "zeal", and "diligence" are also found in Epic Sanskrit.[20]
There are very many compound words containing yog in Sanskrit. Yoga can take on meanings such as "connection", "contact", "method", "application", "addition", and "performance". In simpler words, Yoga also means "combined". For example, guṇá-yoga means "contact with a cord"; chakrá-yoga has a medical sense of "applying a splint or similar instrument by means of pulleys (in case of dislocation of the thigh)"; chandrá-yoga has the astronomical sense of "conjunction of the moon with a constellation"; puṃ-yoga is a grammatical term expressing "connection or relation with a man", etc. Thus, bhakti-yoga means "devoted attachment" in the monotheistic Bhakti movement. The term kriyā-yoga has a grammatical sense, meaning "connection with a verb". But the same compound is also given a technical meaning in the Yoga Sutras (2.1), designating the "practical" aspects of the philosophy, i.e. the "union with the Supreme" due to performance of duties in everyday life[21]
According to Pāṇini, a 6th-century BCE Sanskrit grammarian, the term yoga can be derived from either of two roots, yujir yoga (to yoke) or yuj samādhau (to concentrate).[22] In the context of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the root yuj samādhau (to concentrate) is considered by traditional commentators as the correct etymology.[23] In accordance with Pāṇini, Vyasa who wrote the first commentary on the Yoga Sutras,[24] states that yoga means samādhi (concentration).[25] In other texts and contexts, such as the Bhagavad Gītā and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, the word yoga has been used in conformity with yujir yoge (to yoke).[26]
According to Dasgupta, the term yoga can be derived from either of two roots, yujir yoga (to yoke) or yuj samādhau (to concentrate).[22] Someone who practices yoga or follows the yoga philosophy with a high level of commitment is called a yogi (may be applied to a male or a female) or yogini (traditionally denoting a female).[27]
Goal of Yoga
The ultimate goal of Yoga is moksha (liberation) though the exact definition of what form this takes depends on the philosophical or theological system with which it is conjugated.
According to Jacobsen, "Yoga has five principal meanings:[28]
1.Yoga as a disciplined method for attaining a goal;
2.Yoga as techniques of controlling the body and the mind;
3.Yoga as a name of one of the schools or systems of philosophy (darśana);
4.Yoga in connection with other words, such as "hatha-, mantra-, and laya-," referring to traditions specialising in particular techniques of yoga;
5.Yoga as the goal of Yoga practice."[28]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga
There are very many compound words containing yog in Sanskrit. Yoga can take on meanings such as "connection", "contact", "method", "application", "addition", and "performance". In simpler words, Yoga also means "combined". For example, guṇá-yoga means "contact with a cord"; chakrá-yoga has a medical sense of "applying a splint or similar instrument by means of pulleys (in case of dislocation of the thigh)"; chandrá-yoga has the astronomical sense of "conjunction of the moon with a constellation"; puṃ-yoga is a grammatical term expressing "connection or relation with a man", etc. Thus, bhakti-yoga means "devoted attachment" in the monotheistic Bhakti movement. The term kriyā-yoga has a grammatical sense, meaning "connection with a verb". But the same compound is also given a technical meaning in the Yoga Sutras (2.1), designating the "practical" aspects of the philosophy, i.e. the "union with the Supreme" due to performance of duties in everyday life[21]
According to Pāṇini, a 6th-century BCE Sanskrit grammarian, the term yoga can be derived from either of two roots, yujir yoga (to yoke) or yuj samādhau (to concentrate).[22] In the context of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the root yuj samādhau (to concentrate) is considered by traditional commentators as the correct etymology.[23] In accordance with Pāṇini, Vyasa who wrote the first commentary on the Yoga Sutras,[24] states that yoga means samādhi (concentration).[25] In other texts and contexts, such as the Bhagavad Gītā and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, the word yoga has been used in conformity with yujir yoge (to yoke).[26]
According to Dasgupta, the term yoga can be derived from either of two roots, yujir yoga (to yoke) or yuj samādhau (to concentrate).[22] Someone who practices yoga or follows the yoga philosophy with a high level of commitment is called a yogi (may be applied to a male or a female) or yogini (traditionally denoting a female).[27]
Goal of Yoga
The ultimate goal of Yoga is moksha (liberation) though the exact definition of what form this takes depends on the philosophical or theological system with which it is conjugated.
According to Jacobsen, "Yoga has five principal meanings:[28]
1.Yoga as a disciplined method for attaining a goal;
2.Yoga as techniques of controlling the body and the mind;
3.Yoga as a name of one of the schools or systems of philosophy (darśana);
4.Yoga in connection with other words, such as "hatha-, mantra-, and laya-," referring to traditions specialising in particular techniques of yoga;
5.Yoga as the goal of Yoga practice."[28]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga
2015年1月9日星期五
不要把別人希望你過的生活當作是你想要的生活
轉載：1000個人離世前的遺言，你如果不知道這15件事，你將終生後悔！
美國版：人們臨終最後悔的 5件事有哪些？
最近，一個“臨終前你會後悔的事”的帖子在國內外網站上被瘋狂轉載，瞬間點醒了數萬人。
它的作者是美國一名叫博朗尼·邁爾的臨終關懷護士，文中總結了生命走到盡頭時 人們最後悔的5件事！
第一：“希望當初我有勇氣過自己真正想要的生活”
第二：“希望當初我沒有花這麽多精力在工作上錯過了關註孩子成長的樂趣，錯過了愛人溫暖的陪伴”
第三：“希望當初能有勇氣表達我的感受，而不是長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒”
第四：“希望當初我能和朋友保持聯系，而沒有因忙碌的生活忽略了曾經閃亮的友情”
第五：“希望當初我能讓自己活得開心點，而不是習慣了掩飾，在人前堆起笑臉”
日本版：1000名患者向護士傾吐臨終遺憾
無獨有偶的，在日本也有這樣一位年輕的臨終關懷醫生 大津秀一。
他在親眼目睹、親耳聽到1000例患者的臨終遺憾後，寫下了《臨終前會後悔的 15件事》一書，與美國的熱帖內容不謀而合。
其中，“沒有註意身體健康”、“沒能談一場永存記憶的戀愛”、“沒有留下自己生存過的證據”等，都成為了人們的“人生至悔”。
活著的我們又該如何擁有一個不留遺憾的人生呢？'接下來，我們就來看看是哪15件事，最讓人後悔終身？
別讓這15件事， 變成你的終生遺憾...
第一個遺憾：沒有做自己想做的事。
“人們臨終前最常說的一句話就是，人這一輩子啊，太短了。
”有人削尖腦袋往上爬，有人辭官歸故裏；有人自甘平庸，也有人孜孜以求。人生有很多活法，千萬別被別人的價值觀“綁架”，不要把別人希望你過的生活當作是你想要的生活。
想談戀愛，現在就行動吧；想學點什麽，現在就開始吧。人生就像個旅行團，你已經加入了，不走完全程，豈不可惜？
第二個遺憾：沒有實現夢想。
當人們在生命盡頭往回看時，往往會發現有好多夢想沒有實現。
“真正的後悔，其實不是因為沒有實現夢想，多半是責怪自己沒能盡100%的力量實現夢想。
”堅持夢想是一件“知易行難”的事。一個沒有期限的夢想只是個夢，給夢想加一個“截止日期”，把它變成現實的目標，才更容易實現。
第三個遺憾：做過對不起良心的事。
人非聖賢，孰能無過？一輩子不做錯事，是根本不可能的。
即便不肯殺生的佛家弟子，也難以避免走在路上踩死一只螞蟻。
為了生存而做的無損原則的“壞事”是可以被原諒的，與其背著負罪感生活，不如放下包袱往前看。
第四個遺憾：被感情左右度過一生。
現實生活中，感性的人總是嘲笑理性的人“活的太嚴肅”。
其實，太在乎自己的感受又能如何？笑過、哭過、發泄過，生活也不會因此改變。
也許真要等臨終一刻才能明白，每天為之煩惱、痛苦、傷心、氣憤、達到忍耐極限的事，是多麽可笑和不值一提。
第五個遺憾：沒有盡力幫助過別人。
或是冷漠，或是怕吃虧，讓很多人不敢做個善良人。
其實，善良的人很少後悔，他們活得坦然、心安，那是善良給予他們的美好回報。
去幫助那些需要你的人，“被人需要”的感覺遠比“索取”好得多。
第六個遺憾：過於相信自己。
我們都有過這樣自大自負甚至唯我獨尊的時刻，認為自己不後悔做過的任何一件事。
這樣雖然看起來很積極，但卻顯得盲目。總有一些事，別人比你想的細致周到，多聽一句、多想一秒，可以讓你少走很多彎路。
第七個遺憾：沒有妥善安置財產。
現在因為財產引發的家庭糾紛越來越多。
其實，作為老人，一定要把處置財產當做一件重要的事，在世時就規劃好。如果子女多，分配一定要公平，不要因為錢物，傷了孩子們間的感情。
第八個遺憾：沒有考慮過身後事。
這一點和處置財產很相似。一個人活著，會留下很多印記。周圍的人和事，都會因為你的離開而變化。
提早規劃一下，不但可以讓自己更坦然接受生老病死，也能提醒自己好好享受人生。別等走不動路、聽不懂話的時候，才發現還有很多事情沒做。
第九個遺憾：沒有回故鄉。
每人心裏都有一個地方被埋在最深處，卻一生不忘這就是故鄉。
很多人會念叨，等我退休了就回老家。往往等來等去，最後回家的只是一個骨灰盒。
有生之年，盡量每年都回家看看，聽聽鄉音、吃點美食。這個在地理上讓你無法割舍的地方，也是你靈魂的一個居所。
第十個遺憾：沒有享受過美食。
你是否把好吃的東西都留給孩子，因為工作忙每頓飯都隨便打發，或是為了健康每天只吃所謂的“營養”食物？
吃飯，不僅為了飽腹，它還滿足我們很多心理需求。品嘗美食，也是一種很好的心靈治療。
還有就是，別放棄任何一個和家人吃飯的機會，總有一天，這個飯桌上的人會慢慢消失。
第十一個遺憾：大部分時間都用來工作。
在這個逐利的社會，工作、金錢、權勢成為成功的金標準，很多人到老才後悔，那麽好的青春，怎麽都獻給工作了呢？
看看大自然的樣子，感受季節的變化，聆聽藝術的召喚，這些事情不會讓你變富有，卻會讓你的人生有意義。
第十二個遺憾：沒有去想去的地方旅行。
積攢了很多旅行計劃卻沒有成行，因為孩子太小、錢太少、休假太少或是工作離不開？
很多人都覺得，旅行任何時候都可以去，只有生病的人才懂得，旅行也是一種奢侈品。
第十三個遺憾：沒有和想見的人見面。
可能是你小學時最喜歡的老師，可能是你的初戀，誰的生命都不能永恒，尤其是那些比你年長的人，哪怕身在異地，也可以專門拜訪一下。
我們應該抱著“一期一會”的觀念生活。這是日本茶道的用語，“一期”就是一生，“一會”就是一次相會，說的是人生的每一個瞬間都不能重復，所以每一次的相會都變成了僅有的一次。
第十四個遺憾：沒能談一場永存記憶的戀愛。
愛，也是人存活世間的證明。我們經常看到，在一起的人未必不相愛，相愛的人卻被迫分開，這是人生無常，也怪很多人自己沒有努力。
愛應該是一種忠誠和無私的付出，一種勇敢而無畏的表達，這是我們作為人的權利，千萬不能只當兒戲。
第十五個遺憾：一輩子都沒有結婚。
很多人年輕時覺得婚姻可有可無，一個人更自在。
年紀大了卻開始後悔，沒有一個可以相互扶持的人。雖然好姻緣可遇不可求，但是也得自己努力，碰到合適的人千萬不要猶豫。
這個世界上不會有“最合適”的人，“比較合適”的人也不會等你一輩子。
http://m.shareonion.com/articles/1469?ref=49
2015年1月7日星期三
Yoga
I am glad to have had yoga in my life since about 4 years ago. Yoga is one of the few things that I believe I will keep doing and enjoying until the day I die. It is one of the few things that have the power to pull myself out from emotional trough. (The other few similar things, btw, include singing and cooking.)
With my new yoga club membership starting from 1/1/2015, it seems I have regained focus in my life. I am either in a yoga class or preparing for the next. Everyday I look forward to yoga, and the sweat, fun, challenge, satisfaction, peace and self-discovery therefrom.
Robert, one of the yoga tutors once said, the strength, focus and persistence developed in the yoga studio were not just physical but also spiritual. Yes they are.
Grateful. Namaste.
With my new yoga club membership starting from 1/1/2015, it seems I have regained focus in my life. I am either in a yoga class or preparing for the next. Everyday I look forward to yoga, and the sweat, fun, challenge, satisfaction, peace and self-discovery therefrom.
Robert, one of the yoga tutors once said, the strength, focus and persistence developed in the yoga studio were not just physical but also spiritual. Yes they are.
Grateful. Namaste.
2015年1月1日星期四
Mum said she did not understand why I wanted to move out so much and why I hated her. I said, "no I don't hate you. It's not your problem but mine. It's me who's taking you too seriously and that is stressful. All I need is space and freedom." Mum said she did not do anything to pressurise me. And blah blah blah.
I said I needed some space and time to sort myself out. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.
Yes I start to realise that it is indeed my problem. I blame mum for my own incompetence and cowardness. I blame her for bringing me to the world without my consent and without telling me what to do and why. I blame her for imprisoning and suffocating me. I blame her for what I am and what I am not. But actually, as Serina pointed out, it's me who set myself the boundaries. The problem as well as the solution are within myself and nowhere else.
On one hand I yearn for freedom. I try to stay away from my mum. I rebel. I blame. I complain. On the other hand I am frightened. I wish to have some guidance in the very wide space before me. I wish to have blessings from my parents despite (I think) my path is not ideal in their eyes. I am not sure how to reconcile such conflict. Yet.
I said I needed some space and time to sort myself out. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.
Yes I start to realise that it is indeed my problem. I blame mum for my own incompetence and cowardness. I blame her for bringing me to the world without my consent and without telling me what to do and why. I blame her for imprisoning and suffocating me. I blame her for what I am and what I am not. But actually, as Serina pointed out, it's me who set myself the boundaries. The problem as well as the solution are within myself and nowhere else.
On one hand I yearn for freedom. I try to stay away from my mum. I rebel. I blame. I complain. On the other hand I am frightened. I wish to have some guidance in the very wide space before me. I wish to have blessings from my parents despite (I think) my path is not ideal in their eyes. I am not sure how to reconcile such conflict. Yet.
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)