Someone has just reminded me that I was / am not living my life. I keep looking forward to the future when I can leave all the present pressure behind. I keep fantasizing moments doing meditation or on vacation or with someone I love. I keep reminiscing my time at my previous job when I was pretty successful or at least I knew what to do. I keep mourning for my gone summer holidays. Basically I am living in denial with thoughts like this is someone else's life. And I do all these without myself actually realizing it.

Perhaps it's time to pull things together and put consciousness back into life. Happy or not, this is my life. And I only live once.