常常陷入對他的思念。很想他。很想念跟他一起時的感覺。他讓我捨不得把目光移開。他叫我朝思暮想。他一叫我就心跳。他讓我覺得自己是天下最性感的女人。他很特別。很特別。我告訴 Serina ，大概這輩子我再也不會遇上像他這樣的一個男人了。Serina 說，你遇上他以前，你也沒有想過會遇見這樣的一個人呀。

Someone has just reminded me that I was / am not living my life. I keep looking forward to the future when I can leave all the present pressure behind. I keep fantasizing moments doing meditation or on vacation or with someone I love. I keep reminiscing my time at my previous job when I was pretty successful or at least I knew what to do. I keep mourning for my gone summer holidays. Basically I am living in denial with thoughts like this is someone else's life. And I do all these without myself actually realizing it.

Perhaps it's time to pull things together and put consciousness back into life. Happy or not, this is my life. And I only live once.